he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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