This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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