His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
where are you?
Hypothermia
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
