Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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