I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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