Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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