So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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