his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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