my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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