Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.

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  (847): we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us. http://tfl.nu/woip
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.

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  (704): I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo. http://tfl.nu/y8zo
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".

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  (720): He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost". http://tfl.nu/8ltm
  Replies (39) Good night (7968) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.

  (1-909): View more from California

  I worship thee.

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  (909): so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed. (1-909): I worship thee. http://tfl.nu/jd00
  Replies (54) Good night (8092) Bad night (1075)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.

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  (205): We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor. http://tfl.nu/xv4s
  Replies (12) Good night (1018) Bad night (4860)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

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  (216): ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time. http://tfl.nu/5061
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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  (614): I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. http://tfl.nu/60nc
  Replies (12) Good night (1261) Bad night (4254)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable

  (678): View more from Georgia

  not having any beer money sounds even more miserable

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  (770): I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable (678): not having any beer money sounds even more miserable http://tfl.nu/amg8
  Replies (3) Good night (1926) Bad night (475)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1676) Bad night (533)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus

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  (585): I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus http://tfl.nu/97ca
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?

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  (403): All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/dlqr
  Replies (22) Good night (3577) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.

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  (904): The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party. http://tfl.nu/d07s
  Replies (12) Good night (1224) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.

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  (254): Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst. http://tfl.nu/n2od
  Replies (9) Good night (898) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.

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  (419): You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'. http://tfl.nu/upi6
  Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming

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  (403): Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming http://tfl.nu/n2ay
  Replies (5) Good night (892) Bad night (391)

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