I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices