id be glad to
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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