Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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