accomplished twins. life is a go
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
