I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
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He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
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On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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