im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.