Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.

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  (847): There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike. http://tfl.nu/ywf1
  Replies (17) Good night (2577) Bad night (640)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.

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  (757): Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing. http://tfl.nu/8x8y
  Replies (35) Good night (4834) Bad night (661)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis

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  (781): Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis http://tfl.nu/4nxt
  Replies (22) Good night (3964) Bad night (807)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.

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  (302): Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters. http://tfl.nu/m9v3
  Replies (8) Good night (4072) Bad night (665)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.

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  (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real. http://tfl.nu/3nu3
  Replies (32) Good night (2470) Bad night (6648)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

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  (602): I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex. http://tfl.nu/gy7w
  Replies (13) Good night (3655) Bad night (1271)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery

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  (360): Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery http://tfl.nu/djsi
  Replies (5) Good night (1823) Bad night (721)
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  (852): View more from

  come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air

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  (852): come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air http://tfl.nu/kik8
  Replies (5) Good night (818) Bad night (2060)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?

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  (714): I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what? http://tfl.nu/ezau
  Replies (7) Good night (1324) Bad night (635)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.

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  (920): Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA. http://tfl.nu/o6qd
  Replies (5) Good night (1339) Bad night (945)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.

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  (541): He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans (503): Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants. http://tfl.nu/h1iw
  Replies (7) Good night (1492) Bad night (490)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about

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  (860): Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about http://tfl.nu/vmss
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (563)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.

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  (306): we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too. http://tfl.nu/4mc0
  Replies (6) Good night (1366) Bad night (592)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically

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  (702): good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically http://tfl.nu/2192
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (308)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?

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  (859): Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"? http://tfl.nu/ijad
  Replies (8) Good night (526) Bad night (165)

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