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I accidentally had phone sex last night
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Randomize
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