ADVERTISEMENT

• (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

  Fav 5 1416 1840

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  you for real need to get over him dude

  Fav 52 1253 3468

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face

  Fav 28 3343 1280

  share tweet
  

• (763): View more from Minnesota

  i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.

  Fav 17 1142 5128

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (623): View more from Arizona

  Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple

  Fav 14 4651 1828

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

  Fav 50 2749 5893

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.

  Fav 8 1029 599

  share tweet
  

• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests

  Fav 9 1836 718

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.

  Fav 1 621 982

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.

  Fav 4 741 506

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest

  Fav 0 664 489

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight

  Fav 6 1215 613

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.

  (805): View more from California

  My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.

  Fav 7 539 889

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"

  Fav 1 578 387

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (515): View more from Iowa

  I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night

  Fav 0 25 22

  share tweet
  

Randomize