Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
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Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
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the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.