maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
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Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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