i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
