u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize