I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
