I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize