There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.