Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
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Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!