did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me