just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize