Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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