omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Shame is for Republicans.
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