Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize