hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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