did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
