I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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