How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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