Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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