no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone