New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?