I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.