Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
love makes seman taste better
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool