im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
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I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings