my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick