Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.