You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him