we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"