Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
