Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
