I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize