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So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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