Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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