Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
