He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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