How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
