i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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