I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
