Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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