Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
