yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
