im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
