my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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