I cannot find my penis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
