If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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