don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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