just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
